you ever dip your entire oreo in milk except for the part where youre holding it and feel like thetis dipping newborn achilles into the river styx leaving him invulnerable everywhere except for his heel
For a moment I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone.
YOU FOUND A GOOD ONE
HANG ON TO THAT DOCTOR
I found a doctor like this… and I almost cried… my “bad” cholesterol was 2 points above “perfect”, otherwise 100% healthy on the tests, and she said “body size doesn’t indicate health. There are large people that are unhealthy, there are large people who are perfectly healthy. There are small people that are unhealthy, and there are small people who are perfectly healthy. Healthy isn’t a specific body size.” I love her.
where can i find a doctor like that?
mMMMMMMNNM YESSSS
Yes😄
About the “dont ask” part! ITS OK IF THE ARTIST BKANTANTLY SAYS THEY ARE TAKING REQUESTS!!!
as a society we have to start bullying rich ivy league kids more. they’re like “i go to harvard” and you gotta be like “what? never heard of it”
i got a lot of shit about this post a few days ago but ever since that scandal broke? crickets
“I have a degree from yale”
“Psh did your MOM buy it for you?”
btw you’re only allowed to do this to the white kids. People of colour in prestigious unis already get enough harassment from people assuming they got in because of affirmative action
anyone else ever daydream for 6 hours straight and then after ur just like nah let’s scrap that and do it all again but slightly to the left
my brain: *out of breath* Was that good?!
Me in a beret, taking a long draft from a cigarette and leaning back in my director’s chair: once again, from the top, this time with feeling
lets talk about how the gender neutral wardrobe is boyish clothes because feminine clothes aren’t considered neutral
and it’s totally connected with the idea that men are the default
^^^^^^^
ravenclawangst
xxstormblazexx
ok but can we like start a petition for Cards Against Humanity to make a John Mulaney themed pack because i would be willing to spend all my money on that
Suggestions:
Black cards-
• THERES A ______ LOOSE! IN THE HOSPITAL
• Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell ________
• Canceling plans is like ________
• Do my friends hate me? Or do I just need _____
• You have the moral backbone of a _______
• I’ll keep all of my ___________ right here and the one day I’ll die
White Cards-
• what’s new pussycat played 7 times followed by its not unusual followed by what’s new pussy cat
• smoking cocaine the night before your college graduation
• a 28 year old healthy man trying his best
• one black coffee
• STREET SMARTS
• shushing animals even though they’ve never spoken
• Delta Airlines
• the one thing they can’t replace
• an on fire garbage can… could be a nursery
• a sea of drunk toddlers
• a pre- y2k asshole
• Xanax
Do my friends hate me? Or do I just need what’s new pussycat played 7 followed by it’s not unusual followed by what’s new pussycat
Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell the one thing they can’t replace.
THERE’S a sea of drunk toddlers LOOSE! IN THE HOSPITAL
I’ll keep all of my STREET SMARTS right here and the one day I’ll die
I have more suggestions!
Black Cards-
White Cards-
More black cards
More white cards
enjoy yall
I’m gonna make em and nobody can stop me
